(with apologies to Dostoevsky)
What was I thinking? Oh yes, I wonder what day it is? It’s so hard to keep track of now. I don’t think I knew what day it was yesterday either. No point looking at the calendar because it’s no help; if you don’t know what yesterday was then how can you possibly figure out today? It’s like needing to spell before looking for a word in the dictionary. I’ll check my phone. Oh, it’s a Saturday, that’s good. I have a Zoom call to look forward to. I’d better get ready. I wonder if I need a shower, I can’t remember the last time I had one – was it yesterday, or two days ago, or perhaps more? Oh dear, this social isolation thing is certainly wrecking my personal hygiene. On the other hand, if physical distancing can keep a virus away, it can certainly keep nasty odours away, right? Perfect; as long as I remain upwind from everyone else, it’s all good. No one will notice except maybe Sheba Get off The Table and she isn’t talking. And I must really be saving a lot of money on my water bill. Not to mention doing a lot less laundry, which means I don’t have to walk down the stairs to the basement because at this point getting back up them is a real challenge. It’s so useful to be able to wear the same pants every day and just change my top. I have a video chat this afternoon and I only need to be presentable from the waist up. Bonus. Now hair is another issue – it certainly hasn’t stopped growing. I am becoming more and more dependent on large amounts of hair gel just to keep it under control. If this goes on much longer I will need a machete. But otherwise from the waist up and neck down, I’m doing just fine! It’s just, I wonder what month this is?